Financial guru Joyce Coakley, managing director of the all-girl Mortgage Centre Edgbaston, is continuing her training to be worthy of a place in the British Olympic swimming team.
The diminutive figure found herself wallowing in the river for the second time this year when returning to her boat moored at Upton-upon-Severn.
Her latest dive into the deep came after a "tired and emotional" night trying to find a public house which was open in the flood-hit Worcestershire town.
Joyce was trying to, in her own words, get her leg over to get on board when she slipped and fell in up to her waist.
Long-suffering husband Derek "saved" her by hauling her on board by her arms, and now she's complaining that her whole body aches.
No sympathy from the other girls at the MCE. "Joyce has been great at keeping the company well afloat and going full steam ahead during these financially turbulent times, it's just a pity she has this yearning to be a mermaid," said one.
And I understand that Joyce has been presented with the Moby Dick award for aquatic persistence – a pair of water wings.
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The rather grandly titled Stuart Dyble has apparently flown the nest of Ford and headed for starrier climes.
Stuart, who was once the Vice President Communications and Public Affairs, Premier Automotive Group and, catch breath, Ford of Europe, has upped sticks and moved to 19 Group.
19 Group is the entertainment management company headed up by Spice Girls svengali Simon Fuller, which is currently looking after the interests of one Mr Beckham.
Who knows whether it was the mega salary or the proximity to old Golden Balls which lured Stuart.
Still, he was recently spotted hovering around the Aston Martin stand at the recent Frankfurt Motor Show.
Whether he was buying such a posh motor for himself or blagging one for the Beckhams remains to be seen.....
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Meanwhile the efficiencies are beginning to bite at Ford, who ferried the great and the good over to Frankfurt for the launch of their nifty new XF motor.
Crammed onto a Flybe sardine tin for the flight over to Germany, the journey was a resolutely no meal service, albeit with gourmet sandwiches and booze at extortionate prices.
And would Julian Jones please come forward? The hapless traveller (whoever he is) sparked a security scare after checking his luggage in but failing to board the plane himself.
With Frankfurt being rather jumpy at the moment after last week's terror alert, the plane had to have its luggage unloaded and checked.
The crowd of knackered execs were none too pleased at the delay to their homecoming, and I heard mutterings about a welcoming committee being organised at Birmingham Airport to meet him when he eventually turns up.
Could be bloody.
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Look out France. Birmingham businessman and Moseley rugby club stalwart James Jowett and his sons Spencer and Ben – also ex-Moseley and current stalwarts of Selly Oak Rugby Club – are embarking on an escapade to the latter stages of the World Cup.
The trio are taking a three berth camper van across the Channel to the World Cup in France, sleeping in the vehicle and thereby staying throughout in "Hotel Du Van".
They have no tickets, no itinerary and don't even know which games to go to or indeed where they are being played.
Knowing Jowett navigating skills they will probably miss the lot.
But they should have plenty of fun along the way.
They are sending a weekly report to the Moseley Matters email newsletter, and have promised regular missives to Bright, so that we can all enjoy their rollercoaster ride.
Good luck, lads.
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Did you know that it is the tenth anniversary of White Van Man.
Apparently the phrase was coined in 1997 by BBC Radio 2’s Sarah Kennedy as a reaction to a rather stressful drive to work at 4am when she was ‘cut-up’ by the driver of a white van.
The term secured immediate notoriety and appeared in dictionaries the year later.
The Collins English Dictionary describes the White Van Man as:
‘White Van Man informal, derogatory a male van driver, often of a white van, whose driving is selfish and aggressive.’
There you go; a throughly useless piece of information to cheer your day.
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Financial advisers are not normally found in lakes but Montpelier’s David Fleet managed to go for an involuntary swim in Lake Thirlmere while taking part in the Race the Sun charity triathlon in the Lake District.
The mishap happened when David, a three handicap golfer on dry land, anxious to get ashore quickly for the event’s final cycle ride, lost his balance before the team canoe reached the shore.
“A thousand people have canoed in the triathlon in seven years,” Trevor Law, a director of the Solihull-based IFA and Post columnist, told me. “We did have safety drills but Fleety still managed to become the first Race the Sun competitor to fall in the lake.”
The eight-strong Montpelier team successfully completed the taxing event earlier this month. Starting at 6.20am, they cycled 23 miles, spent four hours going up and down Mt Helvellyn, England’s third highest mountain with its 950 metre summit, canoed two miles on Lake Thirlmere and finally cycled a further 27 miles back to their starting point at Penrith arriving there at 6.10pm.
But there wasn’t much sun for the eight-strong team raising money for Action Medical Research and Breast Friends Solihull, the breast cancer charity
Trevor, who spent many years on rugby’s rugby coalface playing hooker for Camp Hill and Moseley, was the only member of the race team aged 50 and can’t remember being so exhausted before.
“We started out in shorts and hot weather and found ourselves in cloud, rain and a 45 mph crosswind on Mount Helvellyn,” he told me.
“We saw people wrapped up in thermals and woolly hats with walking poles on the mountain. The triathlon was a gruelling 12 hours with hardly a minute’s break but we hope to have raised in the region of £10,000.”
Last minute donations to TILaw@montpeliergroup.com.