As promised here is the "Hotel du Van" tour of France in which the males of Birmingham's Jowett family experience the rugby World Cup.
As you have probably worked out, they were going round in a van. And as Moseley supporters, James (he's the near pensioner father) and sons Ben (plays for Selly Oak) and Spencer, are not quite used to such high powered international offerings. Here are some abridged highlights.
Day 1…Friday September 21, Birmingham-Paris – Due to tour party work and travel commitments departure delayed from 12am to 4.20am. Senior tour member sleeps in back as junior members manage to miss both the M25 and M20. Arrive in Calais approx midday and take the five-hour scenic route to Paris. Arrive Paris in Friday evening rush hour.
Locate a campsite in the Bois de Boulogne
However, four different routings by the Sat Nav are ignored and we find ourselves in the biggest traffic jam in the city – 200 yards and two hours later Hotel du Van moves again and locates the campsite.
A bar is eventually found showing the game, Ireland are losing and we've only missed 15 mins so proceed to order beers and dinner. Ireland lose and senior tour member decides it is his duty to hurry into town to console John Nolan (Moseley supporter and another Birmingham businessman) in an Irish bar.
But Nolan is so distraught he can't bear to drink and orders a water!
Day 2…Saturday September 22, Paris-Nantes
Complete with £120 England v Samoa tickets – secured prior to UK departure – we set off fuelled by bacon buttie binge. Blindly continuing in the vague direction of ground we stumble upon it with enough time to even get a pint in before kick off.
Stade de la Beaujois is a sea of white but somehow we seem to be in French enclave singing Allez la Bleu to the Samoans! Not the most inspiring performance but a win is a win. The berets are getting a lot of attention particularly from the women.
Day 3…Sunday September 23, Paris-Angouleme
With it being a day off rugby, we had intended to start the morning in leisurely fashion but were rudely awoken at 5am when Spencer's bunk collapsed.
Decide to miss out World War II submarine pens at La Rochelle and reach Angouleme to stay with relatives.
Day 4…Monday September 24, Angouleme-Hossegor
Another day without rugby so huge fry-up. Opportunity to do some running repairs and general motorhome maintenance – with the broken bunk fixed, the dodgy reversing light disconnected and all fluids either topped up or drained as appropriate we are ready to depart and make our way to Bordeaux for lunch. We then head to Arcachon to pick up the coast road to the surfing Mecca that is Hossegor.
Flash seafood meal in very nice restaurant, and eat all the marine life to have come out of the Atlantic that morning. Park up for the night.
More Jowett jottings to come – can you take the excitement?
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I learn that David Clarke, big white chief at PR outfit Clarke Associates and also joint publisher of The Rabbit Guide to Birmingham, has just returned from safari with some alarming tales (no pun intended) of how he awoke one night in his tent to the sound of a zebra being culled by a lion, just 250 yards away, and hyenas baying.
It is tempting to say that David should know something about 'hyenas', being in the PR trade, but that would be cruel.
Even more alarming however, is the trail of email correspondence he had with Henry Briggs of HW Chartered Accountants.
Henry's pre-safari email to David reads: "I hope your holiday is a great success. If you see any water buffalo, do try and find out their secret; how can they hold that much water for so long? It might be useful for Digby's (Lord Jones of Birmingham) next after-dinner speech!"
Evidently David didn't see the email before he left and so on his return replied: "I am sorry I didn't get the opportunity to ask any water buffalo what is clearly a question of some concern to you.
"However, I did learn that the antelope family droppings are in pellet form according to the size of the beast and that they are in pellets because these animals obtain all their liquid from food and not by direct drinking.
“The same I guess is true of rabbits in this country."
Within a few seconds of receipt, comes Henry's reply: "Glad you are back in one piece and I look forward to hearing all about it. I am most interested to receive your pearls of wisdom – to learn the science of rabbit droppings from the author of The Rabbit Guide to Birmingham is indeed an honour."
Just think. Before the advent of email we wouldn't have had any of this.
Happy days.
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Carla MacLeod, a family lawyer and solicitor-advocate at the Birmingham office of Needham & James, has relinquished her single status. She married her fellow N&J partner, Adrian Hull, at St Mary's Church, Fawsley, Northamptonshire, on Saturday.
And congratulations indeed to the girl. Bright wishes the couple every happiness.
Despite her job as one of the Midlands leading divorce lawyers, Carla says she is not in the least bit cynical about marriage as an institution.
And, she has been checking the statistics, which suggest more marriages are lasting.
The Government Office for Statistics has recorded the provisional divorce rate in England and Wales falling for a second consecutive year and is now at its lowest level since 1984.
But, for those couples who have been taking the advice to women contained within a 1950s home economics textbook too seriously, it is not hard to see why their marriage failed.
Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself: Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take his shoes.
Speak in a low, soft, soothing voice: Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax.
The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax in body and spirit.
Carla says she does not anticipate following this guidance too seriously, although is rebutting the common trend with professional women and is taking her future husband's name.