Moseley director of rugby John Beale is officially a liar and a cheat.
Of course some of his players may jest they knew this all along, but that would be unfair. The man is to be congratulated.
He has just won the seventh annual England Liardice Championships held recently at the Burlington Hotel in Birmingham. Beat off more than 200 rivals.
Apparently picked up several hundred pounds and a handsome trophy. So the drinks are on Beale for a while. Liardice is poker played with dice rather than cards incidentally.
The contest is all in aid of Pedmore Sporting Club which raises lots of dosh for charity. And my old chum, property developer and chicken farmer, Dick Hickton is one of the organisers. Former world billiard champion Rex Williams was the referee.
And everyone was prompted to stay awake by Jonathan Burrow. It produced £16,000 for Pedmore to add to the near £1 million raised and donated over the past 35 years in the interest of Midlands worthy causes.
Several former champions were knocked out in the early stages before Beale, recently made a grandfather, claimed the victory.
And while we are on sport, that old rogue Greville Edwards has been prevailed upon to come out of retirement once again to hold the 18th Midlands Sportsmen’s Luncheon on December 13 at the Burlington, complete with guest speaker, former England rugby international Jeff Probyn.
Take the day off – it's always a wipe out. Details from asset98@aol.com
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Having decamped from Birmingham three years ago to the less frenetic environs of Burton-upon-Trent, the draw of the countryside has prevailed upon lawyer John Waller to move the business to the village of Barton-under-Needwood.
Apart from larger premises there is the dubious benefit of five pubs all within walking distance of the new HQ, the closer proximity of his beloved cricket club Dunstall and it's easier to park, he claims. However he will have David Dunger as a fellow Bartonite and the prospect of the enigmatic property man being nearby must have weighed heavily upon Waller's mind.
Nonetheless the move now firmly confirms the former city boy's transformation to rural sage with the blue suits discarded – except for the weekly client funerals – for a rustic tweed number, scuffed brogues and a labrador in front of the office mock Victorian fireplace. On the downside Waller has discovered that some clients still practise the barter system and has the occasional nightmare of the odd cow or prize pig being left behind as payment.
"Fruit and veg I can handle," says Waller. "I was going to upgrade the carpet, but you know what a mess these animals can make."
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There I was wandering around the departures lounge at Gatwick Airport, totally bored as I waited for a flight to Cyprus, when this hand grasps me by the arm.
It proved only to be John Kelly, insolvency expert with Begbies Traynor in Birmingham, who was himself heading off on a sailing holiday in Greece.
He already looked as if he should be in Greece, complete with shorts and silly hat, the sort of attire he would never be seen dead with around Colmore Row.
“Got you,” he announces. And we go on to have a few laughs. Don’t do these things to me, John. My blood pressure can’t take it any more.